Tuesday 29 July 2014

My Reality vs Your Fantasy (2012 blog)

I basically just rediscovered my old blog so have decided to pull across the posts from there and delete that blog so that people can see all of my posts in one place, I think there's only five entries on the original blog so I'm just going to repost them to this one with the original date and title. Some of the posts from the original blog are unfinished as I wasn't in the right place to continue writing them so I'm going to leave them in their unfinished draft state.



           Welcome

16th October 2012

So I've been toying with the idea of writing a blog for some time now, and having just watched the "Amanda Todd" video on YouTube it has really inspired me to write about my experiences, maybe I'll help someone or inspire them, or maybe it will just do me some good to publish how I feel about certain goings on in my life - I'm not too sure if I'm honest. I figured I may as well give it a shot, maybe some people will understand me better as a person, maybe I'll begin to understand myself better or maybe I'll get slated more because of the things I write, but I've finally built up the willpower to do this, so I'm going to go ahead with it anyway.

I'm not your typical teen, not living the "normal" kind of life that you would expect as I'm sure you will find out if you choose to read on through this blog. But then again, I don't really believe that there is a "normal" type of person, let alone teenager or family, because everyone is different and that diversity should be encouraged, not pushed out of the forefront and hidden from the public eye and media because someone is a bit "different" and people fear that it might cause controversy . Take a look around you, no one is the same, he's male, she's female, he's tall and she's small, he likes dressing smartly, she doesn't, he's got kids, she can't have them... all these elements make up a person, make up their story; they all build part of the same story line and will determine the steps in their life that they are going to take, what paths they are going to follow and will make all of the pieces fit together... things that maybe didn't make sense at the time that they were occurring but are all part of a bigger picture and will make their present become history for future generations.
 

I'm 17 years old, and will be 18 in around 59 days as I'm sure you'll find out if you have me as a friend on Facebook, Twitter or any of those other social networking sites that I cannot stand but seem to find myself well acquainted with and spending a lot of my spare time using. As some of you may or may not know my dad is disabled and I have been caring for him for quite some time now, I have depression and separation anxiety and a history of self harm and two attempted suicides. I've been involved in several projects by a means of trying to distract myself, and throw myself into something positive that I enjoy but still I try to continue doing what I can to help other people, whilst battling my own personal hell. I just wish I could give myself that same care and attention that I seem to be able to give others without giving it a second thought - no matter how ungrateful the person is or how badly received my help is, I still give it to people time and time again, because I know I'd want there to be someone there for me. I know what it's like to feel alone, and no one should ever be made to feel that way when I could just as easily be there to support them.
 

This was only supposed to be a brief post about what to expect from the blog, so I'm going to stop writing now because I realise that I find it difficult to stop writing and this is probably already a bit too long and hard hitting for a first post, but there you go, it is me. I don't really know what you were expecting... but know that this blog will be the truth, maybe sometimes it will be a bit too brutally honest or hard hitting but it will always be an honest account.
 


For now, goodnight... (well for me it's early morning) readers... that's if I've actually got any yet.
 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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