No-one really understands
it when you say you have a mental health condition, how can they when you don’t
understand it all yourself?
How much of it is normal
teenage behaviour and how much of it is because it’s a symptom, sign or trigger
of your condition – a side effect of medication.
I previously started
writing a blog but I usually only wrote when I was at my lowest point and even
then it would be rare for me to write at all – so after having lay in bed for
hours trying to sleep, my thoughts darting quickly around my head like a rabbit
caught in the headlights and getting highly over emotional without really
knowing why, contacting friends via text hoping to be able to explain and
failing I thought I would again begin to write. At which point I should thank
Chris for always replying to texts at ridiculous hours and talking to me even
when I fail to make any sense.
I thought that when I
picked up my pen (I handwrote this particular post first) that this particular
entry would be about my own self-loathing but the moment the pen hit the paper
that all changed. I’ve come to realise that if I only write during the bad
times that is all people will see but especially with the volunteer work that I
do I feel it is important to show all aspects of living with a mental health
condition, the highs and lows, the happy and sad times, the recovery process
and the times of relapses, my current state and also previous experiences. I
want people to see and understand the reality about being a young person with
mental health conditions, show the light at the end of the tunnel and give hope
to others.
If this only ever reaches
one person but speaks to them then it will have been worthwhile.
Life with a mental health
condition isn’t easy at any age – there are so many assumptions made and
stereotypical views that need to be challenged and the only way to do that is
to be honest and speak out about mental health. “It’s about the 5 in 5 talking
about mental health, not the 1 in 5.” (Justin Scaini – IAYMH Conference,
Brighton, 2013)
2.30pm
My energy levels are
lacking so much today, I didn’t drag myself out of bed until 12pm and even then
it was a struggle – I set my alarms but constantly sleep through and I know
that I need to get back in to a routine but I could sleep for a week and still
be tired – is this normal teenage behaviour or my physical and mental health
taking their impact on me?
I’m supposed to be
getting ready to go to London and see my friends, Ashes to Angels and meet some
friends there but so far all I’ve done is watch the telly, eat chocolate and
sort the cats out. Maybe I need to write out a daily routine and stick it to my
wall so that everything gets done and I get in to a regular pattern.
(This was all I managed to get written this day but I’m sure in later
posts if you choose to read on you will hear all about the gig, I’m going to
try and post at least once a day to give a real insight in to not just my life
but generally being a young person with mental health conditions.)
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